My kids watch TV, OK?! They watch it, and I let them. Sometimes I ENCOURAGE them. That makes me a bad mother right? I love TV. I mean, I. LOVE. TV. It’s my escape, I can live in someone else’s world, in someone else’s life. It’s my time to switch off, to chill, to relaaaax. Granted, I get jittery when there’s no TV around. Last weekend Papa B ran a marathon and we stayed overnight at a game farm. We walked into our lovely spacious villa complete with wooden game-viewing deck, and I’m like, ‘We can’t stay here. There’s NO TV!!!’ Papa B just raised an eyebrow at me and helped the kids unpack their toy-stuffed Trunkis. Of course we didn’t need TV. We had our books, toys for the kids, a deck to Braai (BBQ) on, giraffe to watch…and I had my iPad. Phew. Crisis averted.
Book vs Box: Book wins.
The American Academy of Pedatrics (AAP) says children under the age of two should never watch TV. No TV, no iPad, no DVDs. Our children should instead read books, do puzzles, draw. Are they insane?? Who are these people? Do they even have kids? Have they ever had to deal with cooped-up, strung-out, overtired kiddies on a rainy day? Have they ever needed just five minutes of peace to sit down, take a shower, cook a meal, do a wee? Where is the study that shows how TV saves kids from sleep-deprived emotionally unstable parents? So I choose to place myself and my kids outside the parameters of the AAP. It simply doesn’t apply to my children. My kids love books. And TV.
So, am I a bad mother? I don’t feel like one. And here’s why: I turned out fine. Yep, I just apply the universal parental justification: ‘Well, I turned out fine, so whats the harm?’ Although, that justification isn’t great because you ‘turned out fine’ compared to whom? Who is your constant variable? Einstein? Charles Manson? Barack Obama? Henry VIII? The dude next door who is always naked?
OK, so ‘fine’ is a little ambiguous, but still our yardstick of choice. So, my kids will be totally ‘fine’ even though they watch TV. I believe it. I honestly do. And don’t get me wrong, I’m a reader. I’m a book freak. Pitter Patter N didn’t have a bedroom until he was one because I refused to give up my ‘book room’. I love to read. And I’m a book snob. Give me Rushdie, Marquez, Allende. Don’t sully my hallowed shelves with the likes of Patterson, Binchy, or Brown. But sometimes, I just don’t feel like reading. Yep, shock horror, I choose Box over Book.
But because I’m not a bad mother, and despite my external protestations, ludicrous conclusions like those reached by the AAP stick in my mind. they tug at my conscience, prod my mama-guilt until it smarts. And so I start to think, ‘wow, maybe my kids do watch too much TV’. Maybe putting the TV on has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me? Maybe it’s my crutch, my go-to when I feel like I need it? I put them in front of the TV so that I can relax.
So, mama-guilt in full swing I decided to really look at why I put the TV on. The pattern soon became clear: I used the TV to fill the ‘in between’ moments. Between waking up and eating breakfast: TV. Between getting home from school and eating lunch: TV. Between dinner time and bedtime: TV. So besides being oddly linked to mealtimes, the TV was on when there was not much else going on. Surely, the in between time could be filled more constructively? And so with herculean effort, I decreed ‘No More TV’. I was expecting World War III, tears, tantrums, ‘how could you’s’, ‘it’s not fair’s’. Instead…nothing. Not one objection. And so now, TV time has become reading time, or colouring in time. They do still watch TV, but it’s no longer my subconscious default form of entertainment.
The result? Mornings are beautifully quiet. Conversation flows. Little hands are eager to help pack school lunches. I don’t have to nag to get teeth brushed. Afternoons are constructive. The hour lost in mindless passivity slumped in front of ‘the box’ is now filled with pouring over picture books, airplane magazines (Pitter Patter S’s obsession) or board games. So, in Box vs Book, Box puts up a good fight, but it’s Book that takes it in the end.
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I loved this one. Especially the one where a mom ( you, but could have been me) admits to be obsessed with TV. Oh and that guy next door who is always naked? Is that ‘ugly naked guy’ who moved from NYC to SA? 🙂
Keep writing and I will keep reading. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I am guilty, of originally being addicted to TV, and then also letting my Daughter watch too much. If only I can wind back the clock.
I guess it’s all about what you are watching, and like food the tastier it is the worse it probably is for you. TV is a medium and in recent years, some very educational and informative programs are showing in, discovery, history, national geographic and of recent, cooking lol.
The worst of TV. are those addictive series, so many, and not enough time. I find books much fun now, but they also have the addictive useless ones too, which I try to avoid. As for my daughter, its hard, but I try to explain the difference between something entertaining and valuable as oppose to something entertaining and useless.
One thing I detest more than American Idol, and those celebrity reality shows, that tell us how we should look and live, are those advertisements that tell us what we should buy. I don’t like things being pushed at me, but prefer to pull what I want.