It’s been almost a year since we said a teary farewell to our friends and family in South Africa and began our new life in The Netherlands, our fifth international posting.
All in all I’d say this has been a seamless transition…although buying and renovating a house within the first six months of moving to a new country is not for the fainthearted! Switching from car to bike as my only mode of transport has also been challenging. But we have happy kids who LOVE their school, a bright happy home and I’ve made some lovely friends. Part of the reason why we chose The Netherlands as our next location was because we are already familiar with the culture and area where we live. My grandparents were Dutch. My father was born in the attic of a house just down the road from where we live now. We have Dutch passports (I call it our ‘sleeper nationality’). I’ve been visiting The Netherlands since I was a little girl, and so there has always been a sense of familiarity for me. Could I have predicted that out of all the places in the world we’d end up here, on the doorstep of a long and celebrated family history? Never. But that’s the nature of expat life: it’s so damn unpredictable!
So, what’s it really like living in The Netherlands?
Living in The Netherlands is totally different from visiting, and I’ve put together a few insights as to what life here is really like:
1. The Dutch have a joy for life and enthusiasm that does not match the weather.
The Dutch are always up for a good time and they love a party. There is even a word for it: gezellig. There is no direct English translation but it pretty much means to have a fun time with good friends. It really is the heart of Dutch culture. There is a love of celebration and coming together that is just wonderful. The skies may be grey, but the Dutch are definitely not!
The Dutch love to celebrate, especially if there is a boat and beer involved!
2. Speaking of the weather…it’s not that bad!
Yes, The Netherlands is grey, and cold, and rainy…but would it surprise you to learn that it actually only rains about 7% of the time? Our bank manager told us that, and sure enough research shows it’s true! Google it! What the weather is in The Netherlands is changeable. It can be hailing, then will start to snow, then suddenly the sun will come out, and you’re like whaaaaaaat is going on?!?
3. Dutch food is unhealthy.
Pannekoek and poffertjies smothered in butter and sugar; bitterballen, croketten, olieballen, frites. Basically if it’s deep fried it’s Dutch. Bread, cheese, paté, appeltart met slagroom (apple pie with cream), the list goes on. Don’t move to The Netherlands if you’re gluten free or banting!
Poffertjies are basically batter balls fried in butter, then drenched in more butter, then sprinkled with sugar. A perfectly acceptable snack. Don’t forget the chocomel (chocolate milk)!
4. There’s dog poop everywhere.
Really? Isn’t this a developed country? There is literally more poop in parks and on grassy areas than I ever saw in South Africa. True story. Although I’ve just been informed by my observant husband that there’s more poop in Paris.
5. The Dutch are not as liberal as their laws.
The Netherlands has a reputation for being super liberal, and their laws reflect this: prostitution, euthanasia, same sex marriage is all cool. You can’t walk down the street in most major cities without inadvertently encountering a cloud of marijuana. Nudity is normal. However, behind closed doors the Dutch are kind of conservative. Family values and traditionalism are strong. The Dutch are not liberal, rather they are tolerant. The attitude is, ‘you can do anything you like, as long as it doesn’t infringe upon me.’
6. Dutch kids are…boisterous!
You’ve read the hundreds of articles and studies which say Dutch kids are the happiest in the world, that there is no such thing as helicopter parenting here, that kids are given space and independence from a ridiculously young age (kids are by themselves all the time here, and it’s no big deal). But there is a consequence to all this freedom that is always left out (or not observed) in these studies: that all this independence and free-reign create kids that are loud and confident and pretty unruly. It’s a good thing at the end of the day because confident, self assured kids make high functioning adults, but wow, if you’ve ever encountered a group of Dutch kids on a field trip or in a park, your best line of defense is to move aside and let them through! There’s a kind of ‘survival of the fittest’ thing going on, probably because they are left to sort out their own social issues (which again, has its benefits), but to our sheltered foreign kids (and parents) the shouting and physicality of Dutch kids comes as a bit of a shock. And kids, pick up your rubbish!
7. As an expat it’s cheaper to buy a house than rent one.
Yep. This is why we bought a house instead of rented. The expat rental market is insane. A simple four bedroom house in The Hague can be rented for around 2500-3000 euro a month, but some of my friends pay upwards of 5000 euros for bigger houses. In Amsterdam, double it easily. To buy the same house will cost you just over half the cost of renting it. Rent for 3000 or buy for 1800? Interest rates hover around 3% which is pretty low. And you can get a 103% mortgage loan, so no deposit is needed.
8. You have to be on your deathbed to get a doctors appointment.
This is a biggie, and something expats find really challenging to come to terms with. Pain is not your enemy here and doctors will generally not even see you or your child unless you’ve had a raging fever for four or five days. Paracetamol fixes everything. Forget about antibiotics (this I agree with!). I tried to book a mammogram a few months ago because I’m in my late thirties, have two kids and have never had one. I got no further than the receptionist: Have I found a lump? No. Has anyone in my immediate family died of cancer? No. Then sorry, no mammogram until you’re 50. 50!!!!
9. But hospital care is amazing…and free.
We’ve had occasion to visit the emergency room with my four year old a few times due to his asthma, and I only have good things to say about how we were treated and the ease of hospital admissions. No paperwork. No payment. No handing over your credit card, knowing it’s about to get maxed out thanks to out of control hospital bills. You might have to fight tooth and nail to be seen by your doctor, but at hospital you are taken very seriously indeed. It’s just a pity you need a doctors referral to go to the emergency room!
10. If you try to speak Dutch, the Dutch will speak English!
Everyone, and I mean everyone speaks at least some level of English, and most Dutch people speak English fluently. This makes it really hard to practice speaking Dutch in your daily life. You’ll start off in Dutch, but your accent will give you away, and whoever you are speaking to will just switch to English. I haven’t plucked up the confidence yet to insist on continuing in Dutch! On the one hand the use of English makes life so much easier, but on the other I JUST WANT TO PRACTICE MY DUTCH!
11. The Dutch are frugal.
The constant stream of people having a free coffee at the supermarket attests to this! Dutch people love a good bargain, and are thrifty. But this is not to be interpreted as a lack of generosity.
12. There are beautiful beaches, forests and trails.
As a trail runner this is a biggie for me. When we left Durban, South Africa I was worried that I’d be leaving the gorgeous wild trails behind forever. But there are trails aplenty in The Netherlands! And long, wide, white sandy beaches! Spring and summer in The Netherlands sees the world transformed into a warm, fragrant landscape bursting with life and colour.
Summer in The Netherlands is a riot of colour and sweet smells.
There are great running trails in The Netherlands.
The Netherlands has beautiful beaches!
The Dutch are a direct bunch, who follow the rules to a T, but will let their dogs poop in the parks and will push in front of you in a queue given half a chance…but then are very apologetic if you call them out on it. They’re outwardly liberal, but inwardly conservative, although the saying goes that even a Dutch conservative is a liberal. The people are as paradoxical as the weather, and on top of it all the Dutch are the only race in the world who are getting taller. Some say it’s all the cheese they eat. Who knows. What I do know is that the Dutch are welcoming and helpful, funny, sarcastic and always up for a party.
And who doesn’t love a helpful, sarcastic, party-loving giant?
Do you or have you lived in The Netherlands? What observations would you add?
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Lucille! I feel exactly the same way about life here and I’m starting to think I might be a little Dutch myself (save for the dog poo thing…ewwwwww)! Thanks for such a beautiful portrayal of what it’s like to live here, especially as a non-local.
The Netherlands really is a great, easy place to live!
Thank you so much for this article. We want to relocate to the Nederlands as soon as possible.
“Dutch kids are…boisterous!” – we lived in Luxembourg for a couple years and found the kids to be very similar. Well adjusted when they’re older, but man, they sure are wild and free in the earlier years. Loved this post, many similarities between Lux and The Netherlands here.
Hey David, thanks for reading! Yes, wild and free…which is obviously a good thing!
Agree completely! That said, while it may only rain 7% of the time, it LOOKS like it is going to rain (i.e. dreary and gray) about 75% of the time. 🙂
Can’t disagree with that!
Hi Lucille,
My fiance and I live in Dbn at the moment. We are hoping to move to the Netherlands in 2 year’s time. Anyway you can mail me direct? So many questions and concerns.
I loved your story about the Netherlands. And yes, you are right. I am myself Dutch but have lived abroad many years and can look as an outsider to my own country as well. Years ago when my kids were young I went back to Holland with them by boat. The nurses on the ship told me that they loved having kids to look after going TO Holland instead of COMING from Holland. There was a big difference between them in behavior. What I miss most in Holland is the sunshine.
Oh thank you Johanna! I love living here, so I wanted to be honest yet positive. Thanks for reading!
We lived in Friesland years ago and every time my mother would try to speak Dutch, rather than English, they would reply in Frisian which was what they thought she was trying to speak with her mangled accent!
Ha that’s funny. I guess for expats with no hope or ambition of learning Dutch the English is great and it is very convenient of course. I called Praxis the other day to order a wheelbarrow, and bless the lady on the other end, she kept going in Dutch regardless of my stumbling attempts! I really appreciated it though!
OMG the medical system is so spot on! I think the huisarts hears my name and thinks, ugh, it’s those Americans again! I went in last year for my kids to get a physical and he was like, why are you here??? He didn’t even have them take off their jackets. My husband complained to him about his throat bothering him back in March – dr said it looks a little red, take paracetemol. Went to the States the next day for a wedding, throat still bothering him so went to GP… turns out he had strep! I got my “invite” to do my gyn appt – no mammogram (I’ve had 2 as I’m 40) and no actual check, just the pap – never even asked if I had kids (which I would think would be an important question to ask)!!!! Totally blown away by how advanced this country is in so many ways and then how backwards it is from a medical perspective. However, dental… the dental care is awesome!
Hi Julie, just saw your comment now for some reason! Yes, I haven’t quite got it figured yet…people here live so long (despite a rubbish diet) and very little medical interventions…weird 🙂 No hope of a mammo for me til I’m 50 apparently!
Maybe they live so long due to very little medical intervention with fewer drugs. Maybe they develop a stronger immune system that way. I am also an ex pat who did spend considerable time in the Netherlands and love it there. I liked your article a lot. It is so true what you say about making friends. It may take a while but when the friendship is made it is solid, I also found it to be the same in England.
Just an idea: If I were a woman I would not have a Mamo. Think of it: you are giving yourself xray waves which are carcinogenic in itself. Also the danger of false positives. Google it. Maybe that’s why the Dutch are so healthy: They wait longer for the mamos etc, and many don’t have them at all. An alkaline diet (google it) is a good prevention of cancer.
Thanks for your comment Harry. Might be an idea to leave making decisions over a woman’s body to a woman though.
Great blog, thank you for sharing your story Lucille! The Netherlands has a lot to offer. I can understand how hard it can be to learn Dutch in such an international environment, where everyone speaks English. Enjoy this beautiful country!
Thank you for this blog. My husband and I are starting to consider immigrating to Holland from SA to escape the violent crime and give my children a better , safer chance at life. My dad was born in Holland but has lived in SA most of his life and my younger brother lives in Amsterdam. To be honest I find the idea of immigrating terrifying but at least I know my folks can come with us and be looked after. Our main concerns are if/how my husband will find a job as he is a technical sales rep (pump industry) and only speaks English. I am a remedial teacher so I think I have a better chance at finding employment at an international school. A t advice/tips you could give us about where to get started would be much appreciated. (Ps: I am a Dutch passport holder along with my dad and 2 kiddies. Only my hubby and mom are SA passport holders.)
Hi Michelle, thanks for reaching out. Holland really is a wonderful place to raise kids, it’s safe, kids are independent from a young age and schooling is excellent. However, after 2.5 years here I honestly believe the quality of life in SA can’t be beat 🙂
I can’t speak for your husband as I have no idea about his industry. English is of course widely spoken but I would say Dutch is valuable if not essential.
Your best bet is to go onto the websites of the numerous international schools in NL and look for vacancies. A very brief list to get you started:
Amsterdam: International School of Amsterdam; British School of Amsterdam
Rotterdam: American School of Rotterdam; Blijdorp International; International School of Rotterdam
The Hague: American School of the Hague, European School, International school of the Hague; HSV Primary
Utrecht: International school of Utrecht.
Hilversum: International School Hilversum.
The Netherlands also has many bilingual schools, especially in Amsterdam where there is a huge demand for more affordable English language schools. Google bilingual schools and you should get a list. I would be quite proactive in your approach, phone or email the schools even if you do not see vacancies on their websites. June/July is when the school year ends so that is when the majority of new staff are hired.
It makes a huge difference to have family already living here!
Good luck!!
Dear Lucille,
We are in the process of… considering to immigrate from S-A to the Netherlands. We have so many questions regarding the whole process. Where to start..what we need to do first, how to find a job, schools etc. abroad. Overall we do not even know anything about international travelling. Will you please assist and give me some useful advice on this matter? You may mail me private.
Kind Regards,
Juanita.
Hi Juanita, I’ll PM you!
Thanks for reading! And yes, its important to remember this is my (foreign) perspective!
Can you explain how the Dutch race is the only race getting taller? When I was a child, a 6’ man was considered to be a tall man. Today there are basketball players that are 7 & 1/2’ tall (Not sure what this equates to in metric measure). My point is, every generation of every culture seems to be getting taller. I’m taller than my mother, my mother is taller than my grandmother, etc.
Otherwise, your assessment was very informative! Thank you for sharing! ♥️
Hi Kelly, I’d say natural selection and cheese! Thanks for reading!
hi, Thank you for the great post. I am thinking for migrating to Netherland from India. I am asthmatic. Can you please let us know if the cold weather would be ok for asthmatic patients? Any insights on this?
Hi Kamal, I would say NL is fine for asthmatics.
Hi Lucille, your background sounds SO similar to mine. I grew up in SA and am now in Zimbabwe. I am a single mum of a 4 year old boy and am desperate to get back to my roots. I was born in Holland but left at 2 and have lived in Africa ever since. Zim is in such a bad way at the moment and I want to move to Holland. My son and I are both on Dutch passports. Is life manageable for a single mum? Is daycare affordable? I’m a teacher and would love a teaching job. I’ve seen a few part time jobs advertised, a work-life balance seems so prioritised there. Did you find the adjustment from our wide open spaces tricky? I can’t imagine going from a huge garden to an apartment? How did your kids adjust? Also how did they adjust to the language? My son and I speak zero dutch, I’m pretty workable with Afrikaans which will help? Would love your advice!
Hi Saskia, I can try to answer some of your questions, although I can’t offer any advice on living here as a single mom. Your son is 4 so he will go to school not daycare. All children in Holland, foreign or not must attend school the day they turn 4. It seems a bit weird, but that’s the way it is. Dutch school is free.
Work life balance is very good here, but I suggest you reach out to the single parent community to get an understanding of the reality. There are expat FB groups you can join to ask these questions.
Adjustment to smaller spaces: yes, quite difficult. We downsized substantially. The boys had a big garden by Dutch standards, but a tiny garden to what they were used to in SA. But, parks are plentiful and are very safe. There is an outdoor lifestyle here regardless of the weather!
My kids went to an international school so did not learn Dutch fluently. Their Afrikaans helped immensely however.
There are good social services here, but you should know that healthcare is not free free. You have to take insurance of a couple of hundred euros a month and that gives you access to government healthcare.
It is a lovely way of life here, biking everywhere, safe, independent kids, but I would say do some more research into the repercussions of being a single parent. Good luck!
Hi Lucille
My kids would like to study at university in the Netherlands. One parent will have in 5 years a perm resident visa. They don’t have EU passports. However we are not sure what would be the best. For them to finish high school in South Africa or go at 16. Anyone that could.give share their views please.
Hi Lucille, your background sounds SO similar to mine. I grew up in SA and am now in Zimbabwe. I am a single mum of a 4 year old boy and am desperate to get back to my roots. I was born in Holland but left at 2 and have lived in Africa ever since. Zim is in such a bad way at the moment and I want to move to Holland. My son and I are both on Dutch passports. Is life manageable for a single mum? Is daycare affordable? I’m a teacher and would love a teaching job. I’ve seen a few part time jobs advertised, a work-life balance seems so prioritised there. Did you find the adjustment from our wide open spaces tricky? I can’t imagine going from a huge garden to an apartment? How did your kids adjust? Also how did they adjust to the language? My son and I speak zero dutch, I’m pretty workable with Afrikaans which will help? Would love your advice!